I find there is nothing new to learn from their arrogance an...
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February 14, 2019
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I find there is nothing new to learn
from their arrogance and their stories of the past refusal to admit the truth of anything
accept change, feeding the crows with balls of rice taken from her plate before she eats the first mouth lurching unsteadily into the garden staggering oil pebbles
the golden orioles flyaway, the crows pursue.
"It is for Swami," she says
"That is what Yogaswami has told.
You people all are gulping down your food
first before thinking of the gods;
it is our custom to give the first mouth to the gods the crows are the vahanam of Sank" she says
The crows flap about with waiting wings,
To swoop down with raucous beaks
picking at god-food. It is the daily dana.
Who am I to forbid the gods to feed at my pots and pans?
"Look the crows are coming right into the kitchen," I say.
"Yes, it is so every day now," the maidservant says. "Next time I will eat all. If you don't want,
Then I won't give."
The stray dog sniffs at the food sometimes, she
comes in muttring, 'No fish, no meat so even
dog will not eat."
She is pure vegetarian, won't touch
Christian meat, egg, fish:
"You all are flesh eaters," she says with disdain. "Achchi, do not call us flesh eaters," says the grand daughter. "Flesh eaters? I said flesh eaters? Those are people-who ar eating human flesh no InAfrica they are called cannibals. I did not say. Ohfright then I am eating eating all day fish and meat and purging, purging." Raises her voice becomes deaf to rationale. "Begging bowl ! Beggars. I am old dog. No use to anybody, Can't scrap a coconut halfeven. Yes, yes., they said let them keep her now now it is his turn. They said first you must ask permission from the lady of the house. It is the son's duty to look after the mother. It is not the duty ofthe son-in-law. If you all can't keep, put me in the naki madam. I will go there, very good, very good; they said wait and see, in six weeks they will chase her away." chuckles with ironic glee. that the prophecy, has not been fulfilled does not move her one whit. Her fingers flick sweetness to the tongue, her lips pucker with little gasps at chillie, her hands move over her food with the delicacyof fingers tracing alponas and kolam:
on the threshold oilier life the barren patch before the breaking structure of her house patterns that weave through the famine of herage into gnarled branches and withered leaves the grains going awry, the magic of ritual dispersed so that new rains come, no new harvests begin, and the scarecrows in the starving fields cry with toothless mouths to the parching wind. The purificatory rites she is reluctant to perforn. curving palm over forehead and broat to feel fire where there is only ice. "Fever 1 have today," she says "I won't take bath today, you all are very clean. Like Brahmins. Your servant maid, niso, is clean like lady of the house very sensitive no! Sometimes cleaner than house people . I am like a piece of stinking dried fish, kunu malu." Stings her haggard flesh with her own vituperation still the rubies like pomegranate seeds split her eat lobes, the skin now like brown kahata; and the brilliant in her right nostril glitters a vanishing beam of lost firefly. "Use coconut husk to scrub me," she says "but you will not make my skin white." She makes profound statementsabout the English language to Miyuki:
"English is the greatest language in the world, everybody in the world know Engtish Even in Africa' they al speak English no?" "Which country you are from?" she continues: "Japan?Ah! In Japan there is great pagoda. Did you know Toya Menka Kaisha? Where are you studying? You want to know who am I? I am their father's mother," she says pointing to the grandchildren. "My son luv marriage. They met in University. My son in England also luv marriage," pointing to a photographof her grandchildren she says with pride:
"Just like England children no?" "Old people", She says, "we are old people, we are from Jaffna. We are from the village. We have to come here to learn manners. Etiquette. We criticize everything . We never say thank you. We are only saying too much uppu in that and this. We do not praise." Her eyes sparkle with irony flicks us off like dust of her toes.
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